The Uncomfortable Truth

Well it sure has been awhile since I last posted. I don't really have any great excuses aside from the fact that I honestly didn't feel like I had much to say. Well, honestly, I didn't know what to say. So prepare yourself in the best way you know how for a confession as to my emotions regarding my pending trip to Australia. Prepare yourself because, I'm not entirely sure where this is going to go, but I want to be honest with you.

I'm going back to Australia!!! Oh, my goodness I'm so incredibly excited to return to the land Down Under where I spent the majority of my time last year. It was an incredible year of learning, growth, sunshine, friendship, and exploring God's heart. I changed so much in that year alongside an amazing group of other young people. I also got to experience Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in a completely new way, from what I had already seen growing up within it's atmosphere.

I'm going back to Australia?!?! For two years? Don't get me wrong I enjoy adventure, but I've never been away from family for that long. I know I'll probably have breaks here and there and be able to come back and visit...but two years? How much will change in that time? Who will I be? What will I have learned? Where will I have gone? Who will I have met?

Considering all that I've seen God do for me in the last couple years. Despite the ways I've seen/heard of Him coming through for countless other people around the world, I still ask the same question. Will God come through for me? Is it honestly true that I get to go back to Australia? That I'm already in the process of getting a visa that will allow to both study and volunteer for two years in YWAM Perth? Will all the finances come in? He's already provided so much through fundraising, one-time donations, and blessing me with a job! Close to half of the finances I will need for my first year have already come through. This includes payment for a plane ticket, a visa, and renewing my passport! God has already opened so many doors, allowing the details to come together so smoothly it blows me away!

My God is good. He has blessed me with an amazing family and wonderful friends. He has provided for me from the beginning and guided me every step of the way. He's sending me back to the country where I fell in love with Him. A country where I learned of the love that a Father has for his children, and God's love for me. A love that I want to share with others.

I'm not eloquent with words. Nor am I good at walking up to people and starting conversations. But, I found a love that captivates me. A love that over the next two years in Australia, I want to learn to share with others. I want to embrace my strengths, find my weaknesses, and learn how I can best reach out to the people in this broken world. A people who cry out for love and acceptance. I want make a difference, as cliché as that may sound.

Will you join me?

A Quick Look

You may or may not have been wondering what life is looking like for me right now. But, for all the curious minds I would like to provide a rough outline for what my average week looks like.

I am currently a full-time employee at a grocery store, about ten minutes drive from my house (or a fifteen minute bus ride which is my typical style of travel). My forty hour work week is delegated in shift work, which means I rarely if ever have the same schedule twice. My shifts can start as early as 7am or as late as 1:45pm and last approximately eight hours with a half hour lunch break (so technically 8.5 hours). Our store is open from 8am - 10pm every day unless otherwise stated, and early morning shifts are my preference as part of the day is still available.
My chief job role is as a cashier, and as an introvert this can either make for some great stories, awkward moments, or very draining days. Depending on when I get off work, I either socialize with family and help prepare dinner, or just head straight for bed. I generally work weekends and with a constantly shifting schedule, time to visit with friends or hangout in group settings is often cut to a minimum. So finding a community to plug into has been rather difficult, though I'm launching a quest to see that changed.
Thankfully my co-workers are pretty awesome, and I'm learning more each day of how to better interact with the customers who I serve.

While my parents were out of town for six weeks my brother and I took care of the house. We both work full-time, though thankfully he has a steady schedule. Those six weeks gave me a healthy dose of respect for anyone who holds a full-time job and still manages to find time for family, friends, and leisure. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around how married couples and families manage to stay sane....maybe they don't have shift work. By the end of those six weeks, I was very happy to hand the house back over to my parents!

Yeah, life is busy. Some days are exciting and full of stories and other days are just about putting one foot in front of the other. I sometimes feel like I live at my workplace, and that black (our basic uniform component) is about the only colour/shade I wear now. I'm sorely feeling the need for a community of friends with whom to share life. I find myself desiring to be around people who speak in accents and come from multiple countries (can you tell I grew up on the mission field?), and it makes me miss the YWAM community I was a part of last year.

And that is my life in a rather large nutshell. Now you have an idea of what takes place in my day. If you would like to let me know what is going on in your life feel free to contact me! I'd love to chat with you sometime. :)

Blessings!

Simple Joys

Have you ever had those days where one little thing makes the whole difference? For example, sharing a cup of tea/coffee with a friend, going for a walk whether along the beach on in the mountains, snuggling under a blanket, watching a favourite movie, or just simply receiving a hug when you need it most. There are so many choices that we make throughout the day, and sometimes the smallest ones are the ones that change our day for the better or for the worse.

I know I've already written about this topic a bit in my last post, but finding joy in something simple amid what could otherwise be a very chaotic life has been a big lesson for me lately.You see, I'm a perfectionist in the sense that when a certain number of things don't turn out the way I hoped they would, life sucks and thus my day is ruined. I didn't ever care for how my mind seemed to work in this way, so over the last few weeks I've been challenging myself to keep a looser hold on perfection and a slightly tighter hold on the simple joys a day can bring.

That may have sounded a little confusing so let me try and provide some examples from the last few weeks. Examples...examples...where to start. Ah, yes! Last week, after my work day was finished, I was returning home and stopped to check the mailbox before going inside. There was some of the usual junk mail, business stuff for my parents, and then to my delight I found an envelope addressed to me! Okay so this sounds incredibly old fashioned and slightly cheesy but I really love getting letters in the mail (no subtle hints here). This letter happened to be from a dear friend of mine in Australia, and what she wrote really made my day. It was only a letter, yet after a long work day it warmed my heart.
On another day, one of my co-workers bought me chocolate. And then there are the evenings that I've worked late and returned to find that my brother had made dinner for me. Or when you find that the library or a thrift store has a book that you've been wanting to read for ages. It might just be meeting with a friend and having a chance to talk over a cup of tea. Even last night, I got to go to the theatre with my brother and a friend. All of these things and so many more, are so simple and yet they can bring so much joy with them.

I still struggle with perfection when it comes to everything turning out the way I want it too. It may be something I struggle with for the rest of my life. But I don't want the struggle to obstruct my view of all the little things that can make the day turn into something awesome. If you can't tell by how often I repeat myself, I like the simple joys that life offers. :)

Even the Little Things

God cares about the little things.

     This is something I've been slowly learning over this past month. We can hear about God's appreciation and acknowledgement for the small details in life, or read about it, but many times we don't quite comprehend it until experience gives us the knowledge.

    Over this last month or so my life has undergone several changes. I have remained in Canada instead of striking out for Australia at the beginning of the year, attained a full-time job, and commenced application to a different YWAM location. Through it all, God has begun to show me that He cares about the little things.
- He watched over my heart as I wrestled with the decision to return to Australia as staff at the beginning of the year. He gave me the strength to ask the hard questions such as, "what will it be like when I return?", "what will happen if I don't go?", "what has God told me?", "do I have the peace to make the right decision?", and so many others. When the time came to make the final decision, I had peace because I knew God had walked me through the entire process.
- He blessed me with a job. After job hunting for weeks, with no prospects I was at a loss. I wasn't sure what I was doing, why I was in Canada, or if I was even meant to be looking for a job in the first place. One morning I cracked under the self-imposed weight of trying to sort out all the ifs, buts, whens, hows, and whys of my life. I gave God control and in the span of an hour I was on the phone being summoned for a job interview. This led to a full-time job with great co-workers.
- After three weeks of working as a cashier I was offered training in an administrative department of the store. The schedule changes would give me more time at the end of the day to be around the house or meet with people outside of work. Since my parents where just leaving town to run a one month seminar this was an unspoken answer to prayer, as my brother and I both worked full-time jobs and I was largely in charge of the kitchen. I later learned that this job role is quite sought after, and though many people had been asking about it they gave it to me though I had only recently been hired.

God walking me through a difficult situation, blessed me with a job on a day when I was ready to give up ever having one, and blessed me with a job role that allows me to participate more in activities outside of work. He heard a desperate cry and answered a prayer I hadn't even uttered. My God cares for the little things!
God has recently opened the doors for me to return to Australia. I will now be joining the Perth base as staff later this year! I am so excited for this opportunity and so thankful for those who have already partnered with me in prayer and financial support. I hope to be arriving in Perth between July-October this year! Please pray with me for the right timing and for open doors!

Courage In the Storm

"Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o'clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, 'It's a ghost!' But Jesus spoke to them at once. 'Don't be afraid,' he said. 'Take courage. I am here!'
Then Peter called to him, 'Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.'
'Yes,come,' Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. 'Save me, Lord!' he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. 'You have so little faith,' Jesus said. 'Why did you doubt me?'" Matthew 14:24-31

You may have heard this story of Jesus walking on water before, maybe more times than you can count. Yet, today I learned something new from this simple story. It wasn't Peter's lack of faith that stood out to me, or the fact that Jesus was walking on water. What stood out to me as I read my Bible in the living room of our house, was Jesus words to Peter before he ever left the boat. "Don't be afraid. Take courage. I am here!"

Over the last two weeks I've been fundraising, job hunting, helping around the house, meeting with friends, spending time with my brothers, and yet through it all feeling restless. The type of restless as if there is something just beyond your fingertips, but though you stand on your tip-toes and turn in all directions it remains elusively out of reach, like that item on the top shelf in a kitchen cupboard that you are just a little to short to reach. Personally, I think my restlessness is stemming from a place within that is struggling to comprehend why I am in Kelowna. I believe that this time is meant to build relationships, to do fundraising, to build a support/prayer team for the time when God calls me to rejoin missions overseas, and do just be in God's presence. However, that last component has been sorely lacking.

I can so easily get caught up with things that I want/need to do or fill my time for the day, that I reach the end and discover I didn't spend nearly as much time with God as I should/could have. Jesus called out to Peter saying, "I am here!" and he still calls out to us each day wanting to take away our fear and replace it with the courage that comes with knowing we are not alone on the journey. But, how I can I acknowledge that I am not alone if I do not take the time to talk with my companion, to listen to what he says, and to spend time enjoying having him around. It's far too easy to breeze through one's Bible reading for the day, close the book, continue with the day's agenda, and fall into bed without spending even two minutes enjoying God.

It is a daily choice. It is a choice that I wish to make. I want to leave behind the fear and take courage in the one that I call my Saviour and Lord. I want to have the courage to step out of the boat, knowing He is right there with me. I also want the courage to call out and acknowledge when I'm sinking, because He'll always be right there with a steady hand to pull me up and help me try again. That is one of the many reasons why I love him and follow him. For he never gives up on me and he's with me even in the midst of the most treacherous storms giving me courage to reach out to him.

Walking in Trust

Happy 2015 from a cold and snowy Kelowna! With the first snow day in 35 years there are a few changes taking place, and not just in the weather.

As many of you may recall in my last post, I mentioned that I was planning to return to Australia this week (in two days to be precise) and join YWAM Whitsunday as staff. However, details were not coming together and one day as I was praying for God to make Himself clear I received an email that made it clear that I was not meant to return to YWAM Whitsunday or Australia at this time. At first I was disappointed, I had been so sure that God would provide. Yet now it's becoming clear to me that being in Canada at this time is truly for the best.

The soup and cookie mixes

When I made the decision to not return to Australia this January God began to provide me with more opportunities to share with people what He has put on my heart. I believe that over the last week He has been confirming my decision. I have been doing a fundraiser through my church by selling soup and cookie mixes in a jar. It has been a huge blessing to know that people support me, are praying for me, and are interested in what I am doing. I've been able to raise over $300!

Even though the plans to return to Australia have been postponed I am still pursuing the opportunity to return later this year. For several weeks I was encouraged to look into a different base in Australia and I am now considering the option of joining staff there instead. For now I am looking for work, building relationships, sharing what God has put on my heart, and hoping to meet up with individuals who I have not yet had the chance to see.

An afternoon with two great friends!

Thank you so much for standing with me through this time! I appreciate all your prayers and encouragement so much!

Blessings,
Amy

Please continue to pray with me for:
- Work as I look for a job
- Clear understanding of how best to use my time while in Canada
- Clarity in what God is calling me towards next
- Individuals and families who are would be willing to support and pray for me as I look into being staff in YWAM

Guarded by Grace

I hope you are all having a very wonderful Christmas season. Whether you are surrounded by friends or loved ones, I trust that your last week and the week to come will be full of laughter, joyful memories, wonderful people, and delicious food!

I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who prayed for my family and I as we did a road trip across the USA several weeks ago. We got to meet with many people who we had not seen in a good number of years, see new places, make new friends, and have a great time building relationship with each other over the 3000 or so miles of road we covered. We then returned home to find that the vehicle we had been riding in over those many miles had several problems that could have easily caused an accident at any point along the trip. As our mechanic so wonderfully sized up the situation, "you have so much grace!" for without God's grace who knows what would have taken place.

Visiting in Vancouver

These last two weeks back in Canada have been a huge blessing. I had the opportunity to go down to Vancouver for several days to visit a good friend, spend time with family here, as well as visit with several families and good friends sharing what God has put on my heart. These last few months have truly shown me the value of family. I'm so thankful to God for the people he has surrounded me with, through all the embarrassing moments, tears, moments of frustration, and times of joy they've always stood by me. I don't know what I would do without them. :)

First time skating!

Within the next few weeks (January 7th actually) I'm hoping to be flying out to Australia once again. I'll be returning as staff for a year to YWAM Whitsunday where I will be volunteering in hospitality, helping train and equip young people in the calling God has given them, and sharing the love of God with those I meet. Since this is a volunteer position I've been raising support by selling soup and cookie mixes. I'm also looking for individuals and families who would consider supporting me financially on a monthly basis or through prayer over the next year. I'd like to raise a support base of 20 families giving $20-50 a month. I also appreciate donations as everything is a blessing. If you would like to know more about what my expenses will look like or how to support me please write me at amyt.dr@gmail.com I'd be happy to share with you.

Thank you for being part of my journey! I'm so thankful for Christ's continuous grace as he leads me each step of the way. May God continually bless you over this holiday season and as we enter a new year.

Blessings,
Amy

Prayer Requests:
- Please pray for the remainder of my time in Canada as I raise support, spend quality time with family, and visit with friends
- That all the details for this next year will come together smoothly and quickly
- For men and women who are willing to pray for me and/or support me financially over the next year